Conversations: Stares and Glares

Occasionally there are snippets of wisdom and sensible opinions about Trans life to be found online while texting with other girls and, rarely, boys who ran out of dick pics.

Going forward I will transcribe the ones that stand out, that, most importantly, align with how I feel about the specific topic of interest.

Here is the first one...

How it started:

Question from Beks:

"so the other day I went to a nail salon for the first time ever and got my first ever set of gel nails which I absolutely love! 💅🏼 but...​does the sensation on the back of your neck that everyone is staring at the t-girl ever go away?"

My simple reply:

"Yes,
Once you learn to enjoy it.
It is the best way to say fuck you to them all."

The best and more eloquent answer came from my friend Jamie...:

"I agree with gaby. At the point where I just said 'fuck it, I'm trans, people know, I dont care, I'm just going to casually own it', it was so liberating. I shed that feeling of 'I need to seamlessly pass, or else' and just make myself comfortable the ways I want to, present myself and behave as I want to, and shrug and go about my business if people seem to have a problem. I've learned that most people don't. They are confused and curious, sometimes intrigued. But generally they just want to be respectful and understanding in whatever capacity they are capable.
Trans or cis, gay or straight, theres always gonna be haters. We dont owe them any explanations or justifications or 'proof'...I gain or lose no validation by trying to make myself make sense to someone who chooses to see the world with a filter that wants to negate me. I stopped giving these people any real estate in my mental headspace, and have lost nothing but needless anxiety."

I love this !