The Deep Blue Bathroom

The point of this post is not about interior design or home style and decor, but rather to remember possible moments from my past that were clues of my evolution as a Trans woman.

Oftentimes I purposely try to force remember details about places and events that I have been in and part of. It is a mind exercise to keep my brain working especially nowadays with my work so devoid of any useful stimulation.

This morning I  happened to visualize the memory of the bathroom my sister and I grew up using and sharing. I remember it, almost like a VR experience, the deep blue tiles covering almost 3 quarters of the way from the floor to the very tall ceiling. I recall them being bumpy textured and slick at the same time, especially when the steam from my longest hot showers would create that slippery condensation on them. I have always loved continuing my sleep under the warmest of waters. Separating my body from blankets and pillows has always been and continues to be an unnatural and cruel affair. It may be the true reason I am actually writing this post, to delay the inevitable walk to my shower.

Anyway, there was a very large full size mirror over two white sinks, one for my sister and one for me. The mirror was the biggest I had ever seen in any home, even to this day perhaps. It had 3 or 4 recessed very strong lights that would actually brighten the entire room much better than the 1 bulb old ceiling one. That is where on her side, by the door, my sister kept her make up that I used to secretly take and put on. My favorite was a red and a pink creamy lip balm that was super shiny and smooth from a red  make up kit from a company called Pupa. It was amazing because it was only in those moments that I always felt happy with what I was seeing in the mirror.  It was like entering another dimension where I was right. Quick moments, sometimes longer depending on who was at home, but I was always looking forward to those times to spend in another realm, the one where I was home, really home.