November 20th TDoR

This past November 20th I was part of one of the many Services held in remembrance of the way too many Transgender people that were killed because of hatred, bigotry and inconceivable violence. It is known internationally as the Transgender Day Of Remembrance.

I had so many thoughts and emotions during the service held in downtown Providence. It was so well done and I am so glad I was there. The bell sound at each name of the victims was a strong symbol of hurt. The words spoken by members of the audience were a heartfelt testimony of a community that is willing to be proactive to find a stronger voice and ultimately a change from the wrong perception about how Trans people are seen in our current society. 

I was also touched by the welcoming and friendly attitude I received by the members of the group that organized the memorial service. A bit awkward at first, largely due to perhaps the way I present myself when I want to look my best for whatever occasion. Maybe the makeup and wig threw them off a bit questioning whether I was a cd or a Trans, maybe I was being too sensitive and reading too much into things given the very emotional state I was after the service, who knows.

Regardless, it sparked one of the most delicate thinking I often do about groups, communities, and everything that encloses people. The self-protecting attitude that often borders and spills over counter closed-mindedness whereas I always try to have a universal, perhaps utopian, approach where if I believe in acceptance and diversity it should always be a two-way street. The simple intricacies of being human, I guess.

Interestingly enough, following the service and the otherwise very lovely meeting, I decided to go back, after a long time, to my old and favorite weekend places, the Alley Cat and the Dark Lady next door to it. Again mixed emotions there, as I was very fond of them, especially for certain people and basically being the places I felt safe to be myself and eventually leading to my transitioning choice.

There I met a new (to me) group in town, the Providence Gay Flag Football League. They were at the service too, just to give you an idea of how proactive, inclusive and thank god unbiased their approach is in the community. I had a nice chat with several members, again welcoming a different, better vibe that I had experienced before within the Gay community. I hate generalizations, so I want to end this post by saying, that inevitably it takes a few individuals and our own experience with them to too easily make the mistake to quickly categorize positively or negatively a bunch of possibly amazing people.