Trans and CDs Revisited
Not too long ago someone asked me about the difference between a crossdresser and a Transgender person.
Today, while browsing my FB feed, I found this comment to a post that could help to understand one of the most profound differences between Trans and crossdressers.
A little disclaimer: I have absolutely nothing against CDs.
The post read:
"When I came out almost 4 years ago, all I could dream about was transitioning. Shortly after, my wife and I separated (nothing to do with my lifestyle). I started living life and enjoyed it at first but looked at the future of it. I have hardly any hair so I’m stuck with a wig no matter what, I’m 6’2” and built like a man, and it’s something hard if not impossible to come back from. Then I saw so many trans women wanting to detransition ( stop transitioning ), I saw the amount of hate in the trans community and decided that I have a ton of fun the way I am. I can doll up and go visit a guy friend tonight and tomorrow take my motorcycle out with my old high school friends as a guy. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a win-win."
The highlighted text in bold style is the very definition of a crossdresser and not of a Transgender Person.
For Trans, it is not a choice, you either are or you are not. You want to live life as "you", even if it means that you might face the loss of family, spouses, children, friends, jobs, living arrangements, and healthcare to name a few. Being and living as your true self is a need, that in time, if not allowed, it will consume you to the point that you will either accept it and go forward or sadly, you will suffer a great deal of profound and unending unhappiness that could lead you to take your own life.
Being Trans cannot be shrugged off or put away like a dress or a costume worn for fun times. It is not about the stresses that life inevitably brings, but about the debilitating and consuming stress of not being able to be who you truly are. It is not a lifestyle, it is living.
The "lifestyle" mentioned in that person's comment is not a defining Transgender trait, it is a way of living that could apply to anyone, most often for CDs and Trans could be related to sexuality, but definitely it has nothing to do with gender identification issues.
The concerns expressed above with looks and appearance are certainly shared by both Trans and CDs, but again for different reasons and goals. For Trans, these are important to achieve the most complete alignment between body and mind to best match the gender we identify with. Trans may look for very complex, expensive, and in many cases irreversible surgeries, not just wearing alluring clothing and makeup when it is convenient. For CDs, it is usually a sexual pleasing and pleasurable experience, a part of an escape from the stress they may be experiencing in their everyday lives.
That comment/post reinforces one of my strong and personal beliefs that therapy is a must when dealing with Transgender and identification issues regardless of whether it is mandatory to start transitioning or not.